Right now you are roasting in your own special August style of H E Double Hockey Sticks, and winter is probably the last thing on your mind.

But winter is coming, my friend.

And that means a cold, Chekovian bleak winter of your discontent. Unless you live in some damn California type of paradise, in which case you can just either skip this, or accept that your winter hell will be one of a more figurative nature, while we in the north will suffer exponentially both spiritually and physically. Down to our damn toes.

Here are 8 ways that our animal friends prepare to hunker down and survive for the tortuously long season of winter. For many of them, their very survival depends on implementing some or all of them. I will give you my snarky take on how you can apply these to your sales and by extension, your whole miserable winter life. Then you can file this away for November and use it for real, whereas today, it will hopefully just make you smile. Or dread. Or both. Natch.

1. Take a warm soak. I can imagine that animals would do this to increase their internal body temperature and maybe slow down all of their vital functions. For us humans, this might mean heading to a spa or the steam room at your gym. And hey – while you’re at the gym, why don’t you get a nice workout in? Maybe check out that class you’ve been meaning to try. Not working out right now? How about you start? Your health is one of the few things that you have a lot of control over. The more exercise you get, the better you feel about yourself and the better you look, which will increase your self-confidence, which will increase your sales success. Warm bath = higher commissions. Bit of a stretch? Maybe. Speaking of that; yoga.

2. Many animals migrate to warmer climates. I myself sure wish I could relocate to Tahiti on a solo expedition from November to March. But in real life, I might add some plant to my office space, make sure the temperature is conducive to my most productive self, and dream about my next vacation to somewhere warm. The promise of a cruise ship, paid for partially by my consulting fees, motivates me to make one more call. In fact, I am going to go find a picture of a ship to hang above my desk as we speak.

3. Some animals, when the going gets tough, they hide. I suppose you could do this too. But don’t hide for two long, or your boss will find you, and ask you where the new sales are, and after too long, might escort you to the door. On second thought, skip this one.

4. Use anti-freeze. For living things, this is sugar. And sugar, in my opinion is good. So is coffee. Coffee Coffee Coffee. With sugar. In short, drink coffee with sugar and you will survive winter. Everyone will think your caffeine tremor is adorable.

5. Animals stock up. Like, acorns and stuff. So, let’s see…what could be the human equivalent of acorns? How about research, leads and networking targets? Yep – that’s the ticket. Each time you sit down to do research and identify a couple of new targets, identify 10 instead of 2, and then put the extras aside for that day in the winter when you can barely handle getting out of bed, and then remind yourself of the treasure trove of leads in your lead vault, and you can bound right out of bed to grab some coffee and head to the gym. It’s all cumulative.

6. Some animals slow down in winter to conserve energy. Screw that. Skip number 6.

7. When the going gets tough, the tough grow and extra set of legs. I love this idea. For us, this might mean changing our habits to reflect the strongest and best in our ecosystem. This is a great time to emulate your hero, mentor, or the number one sales rep in town. What’s that? You ARE that person? FANTASTIC! Now go start your own YouTube channel and join the ranks of the truly elite – the social media viral-ites.

8. Finally, animals huddle together to keep warm. Another one I love. One way of looking at this is that misery loves company. Another way to look at it is THERE IS STRENGTH IN NUMBERS. Huddle up! Share the wealth! Share the ideas! Stay together and be stronger together. Just like the EuroZone.

Too Soon?

As a sales and marketing coach and consultant at Success In Print, Kelly Mallozzi advocates for graphic arts companies to start a revolution and fight to keep print relevant.  She may be irreverent, but what she lacks in convention, she makes up for in smart-assery.

Connect With Kelly: Twitter @SuccessInPrint and check out her weekly blog on Printing Impressions.