Five of the Best Ways to Be a TERRIBLE BOSS and Tank Sales

We’ve all probably had one or more. Some of us have probably even been one at one or more points in our careers. You might even have one or be one right now…  A TERRIBLE BOSS.

But if you’ve never had one, or been one, and you have put it on your bucket list for some distant point in your work future, look no further, I’ve got you.

how to succeed with a bad boss

Here, in no particular order, are some great ways to make people hate and fear you, drive profits WAY down, and become the butt of jokes and gather derision to you like flies to rotting fruit.

Hold no one accountable for anything. Things are not going well in the sales department. Your salespeople have not embraced social media, and yet they have no way to engage with clients and prospects right now. But instead of helping them, guiding them, or getting them the help that you need, you stew. Keep getting madder and madder, but make sure you do not tell anyone why.

Hold your expectations a big secret. You have goals, for your salespeople, for the company, and even for yourself. But you must never articulate those goals. Do not share your vision. Remember, expectations are resentments under construction, and the absolute best way for you to achieve and maintain most hated boss status is to foster and breed resentment and fear.  Well played.

Offer no ideas or suggestions for improvement. The best way to be a terrible boss is to criticize (preferably behind someone’s back rather than out in the open where conversation can happen) While it may be true that you really have no ideas as to how to help your salespeople, stick to your guns when it comes to refusing to use any of the tools available to you to help.

Play favorites. In a completely arbitrary way, make sure everyone knows who you favor and who you feel is useless. And make certain there is nothing to back that up. Even better, give special favors to people like your college buddies, the one you play golf with, or your brother in law. YES!

Tolerate mediocrity and insubordination. You know those few people on your sales team that have consistently been putting up lower and lower numbers each year? Keep allowing that. The surest way for you to continue to drive your company straight to the middle the pack is to look the other way.  Here’s an idea: Implement a new MIS system with a robust CRM system, train everyone on it, tell everyone that they are “required” to use it daily, and then forget about it. Make a few empty threats about what will happen if they don’t, and then stand idly by as they do not. Make sure that the huge investment you have made goes completely wasted.

Commit yourself to master one or two, or (BONUS) all five of these surefire tactics, and you can pretty much guarantee that you and all of your employees will be looking for a new job sometime in the next 2-4 years.

Godspeed to you, you terrible boss, you.

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Kelly Mallozzi.2018_print media centrAs a sales and marketing coach and consultant at Success In Print, and Girl #2 at #GirlsWhoPrint, Kelly Mallozzi advocates for graphic arts companies to keep fighting to keep print relevant. She may be irreverent, but what she lacks in convention, she makes up for in smart-assery.

Kelly is a regular co-host on the #GirlsWhoPrint Podcast along with Deborah Corn. She is also a mentor to several future sales stars and she connects to them through the Women’s Print Mentoring Network. Check out her book, co-authored by Bill Farquharson: Who’s Making Money at Digital/Inkjet Printing…and How. Kelly also occasionally guest blogs at Printing Impressions and you can see her most recent posts here.

Connect With Kelly: Twitter @SuccessInPrint and on LinkedIn where she regularly posts and is even often interesting.